NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 20:  Sean "Diddy" Combs stands with Farnsworth Bentley at the Sean "Diddy" Combs' Birthday Celebration Pr
Jemal Countess

So, according to TMZ, Sean “Diddy” Combs is throwing a Grammy after party at the Playboy Mansion and VIP tickets will cost you $50,000. Oh, hell no? Too expensive, you say? Look, it’s simple math: Diddy’s coolness-by-association is pricey, and you’re some boring (albeit rich) nobody, so, f**k you, pay up.

Here’s what you get for $50,000: The Monster Cabana ticket, which includes two cabanas, VIP admission for 20 people, buffet dinner, open bar, free bottle service and 15 dedicated female promotional models. That’s 15 hot chicks who, just by standing near you, make you look cooler and more attractive. Let’s call this service “proximity prostitution.” But it’s all for a good cause: The Angelwish Foundation, which aims to improve the lives of children living with HIV/AIDS. Which is exactly what you’ll be thinking about as you follow Ms. September into the grotto – the children…

Okay. Full disclosure, tickets for Diddy’s after party are selling for as low as $1,500, but would you wear Keds and Old Navy jeans to the party of the year? Hugh Hefner will be there (it’s his house) and this could be your big shot. You roll VIP style and don’t you forget it.

Still, I got to say: By comparison, the conversation at the $35,800-per-plate fundraiser dinner for President Obama, held at Spike Lee’s apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, is far more engaging. Just sayin’.