Gwar

GWAR: Metal Monsters Give Love Advice

The quartet give the "Dear Abby" racket a try
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Gwar not only have the sickest costumes of any metal band—reminiscent of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s game-show foes in the sci-fi/action flick Running Man—they’re also sharp-tongued councilors in the ways of love. Fuse asked some relationship-challenged individuals to send in a video describing their troubles, and Gwar graciously agreed to solve their problems.

A young man struggling to get his longtime girlfriend’s parents to like him wondered what he could do to get in their good graces. Lucky for him, melty-faced lead singer Oderus Urungus set him straight. “You can’t. You are f***ing his daughter, he is never going to like you. That’s a fight you’re never gonna win.”

In response to a young lady who has having trouble meeting men, Gwar gave her a down-to-earth tip. “If you would look in the mirror, Anna, you are a woman. You don’t need sex advice. All you have to do is say ‘sex, please, now.” We hope this helps you find Mr. Right, Anna.

Gwar also sat down with us to talk about the second leg of the Return of the World Maggot Tour and, er, smoking feces. For all the details on that, check out the video below.

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