Madonna, Girl Gone Wild music video screenshot

Tired of only pissing off "old media" companies, Madonna's new video for "Girl Gone Wild" has been age-restricted by YouTube, ostensibly meaning that it can only be viewed by those over 18. 

According to the NY Post, the video-sharing site told Madge's management that "if they want it to be available for viewing by all, they must edit out shots of bare bottoms, a man rubbing his crotch and an implied masturbation scene where a man gyrates before a mirror." Admit it: You're totally not reading the rest of this and just shooting down to the video, aren't you?

For the few people left, the Post claims a YouTube rep has sent Madonna's team a list of shots that need to be cut or altered and that the singer was currently working on an edited version suitable for the site. In totally unrelated news, my friend's 4-year-old son was able to access and view the video in 0.6 seconds. Age restrictions on YouTube are akin to alcohol websites verifying your date of birth; the online equivalent of that creepy college sports bar that accepts any ID with a semi-legible photo and plastic. 

Is it too conspiracy theorist to think that this restriction might all be part of Madonna's Grand Marketing Plan surrounding the release of her latest album MDNA? The video is shocking by 1990 standards, but in 2012, my 12-year-old nephew has probably seen crazier things before recess.

The whole thing reminds me of 1990, when the S&M-themed video for "Justify My Love" was banned by MTV. 22 years later, that video almost seems quaint relative to the shock value most of us are used to today. Watch "Girl Gone Wild" below and sound off in the comments.

Madonna - "Girl Gone Wild"