LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 26:  ***EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE***  (L-R) Prince Michael Jackson, Katherine Jackson, Blanket Jackson, Pa
Lester Cohen

This is just a crappy few weeks to have the last name Jackson. "American Idol" judge Randy Jackson lost two friends. MMA fighter Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is facing a "personal relations nightmare." And if you're related to Michael Jackson, you have either been instigating or caught up in a sordid family affair more suited for Univision telenovelas than real life. Last week, Michael Jackson's mom Katherine was reported missing by her nephew Trent, only to have those claims refuted by other members of the Jackson family. Earlier this week, Katherine's lawyers released a statement claiming that "a plan has been in place for three years to remove Katherine Jackson from her home and grandchildren."

But the matriarch herself has been mum (sorry), having been resting in some Arizona oxygen chamber (Fine, it was a spa). The 82-year-old center of controversy broke her silence to ABC News yesterday, saying she is "devastated that while I've been away, my grandchildren have been taken away from me, and I'm coming home."

"There are rumors going around about me that I have been kidnapped and held against my will," Jackson said. "I am here today to let everybody to know that I am fine. My children would never do a thing to me like that."

This contradicts Michael Jackson's daughter Paris's claims that Katherine was "missing," resulting in an investigation by the LAPD. Earlier this morning, Paris seemed relieved:

Katherine claimed the reason she did not call her grandchildren, who she reportedly spoke to daily, was because she "just gave up my phone and I didn't want to have any phone calls while I was here." In a prepared statement, every grandma in the world was quoted as saying, "You see what happens when you don't call your grandmother?"

Katherine ended her prepared statement with a promise to return to Los Angeles and sort out this ongoing debacle. "There's a lot of lies that have been put out there and I am going home to straighten them out and this kind of stuff doesn't make sense. So I want to say goodbye and I am on my way home."