On last night's X Factor, the Demon and his wife Shannon Tweed (1982's Playmate of the Year and star of the film Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death) made an unexpected appearance on Simon Cowell's singing competition show.
No, Simmons wasn't screaming the Kiss hits covered in makeup and blood for celeb judges Britney and Demi. He was there to play the role of "Nervous Father," waiting with bated breath to see if his 19-year-old daughter Sophie Tweed-Simmons would pass her X Factor audition.
In case you don't have nine minutes to watch the clip, we broke down the essential moments for you right here.
0:40 - Gene Simmons has clearly never seen one of these shows before. "Are all these people here to audition?" he asked. Things were so much easier back in the '70s, right? Throw on some clown makeup, sing about hookers and watch the money to roll in.
1:00 - "It's a big shadow. I really want to step out of being the daughter of the guy from Kiss," said Sophie. While standing right next to her father, the guy from Kiss.
1:11 - Gene Simmons bemoaned the fact that his daughter wouldn't let him hire security guards for her while she waits with the plebeians.
3:14 - When the audition began, Demi Lovato recognized her almost immediately. "That's where I know you!" she shouted when Sophie introduced herself. But curiously, Dems didn't call her out as the daughter of Gene but rather as "Nick Simmons' sister." Is Demi friends (or "friends") with her older brother!? I mean, he is pretty damn handsome.
3:20 - Sophie was crestfallen to be recognized. Or at least, crestfallen to be recognized as the sister of the son of a famous person.
3:30 - Papa Gene and Mama Tweed are pissed she's there. "They didn't know I was doing this until yesterday and they're pretty upset with me," Sophie said. "I just didn't want any help." So far so good!
6:20 - Citing lack of "the chill bumps," L.A. Reid rejected her.
6:28 - Looking like she was mentally miles away, Britney Spears offered, "I think you have an amazing voice."
6:33 - Mrs. Simmons became very distraught when her daughter called Britney Spears "ma'am."
7:39 - Fortunately for Sophie, having a famous dad and an alright voice were enough for reality TV. Britney, Demi and Simon gave her the OK, so she's coming back to The X Factor!
8:08 - "I'm so excited to move forward as myself and not the daughter of someone," Sophie raved. "Maybe I'll just introduce myself as Sophie and not say my last name for the entire competition!" Yep. The judges will definitely never bring up her famous father again.
8:24 - A girl in a white hat complained about Sophie getting through, utterly disgusted that someone in California received preferential treatment based upon fame.
But the most important revelation from the video below is that there is a concert venue called "Cow Palace." And it's not in Kansas, it's near San Francisco.