Pro tip: All you need to do to get into One Direction's inner circle is become the adorable one-year-old daughter of their hair stylist and makeup artist, Lou Teasdale. Baby Lux, who turns one today, has her own Twitter account (a true millennial) and more than 500,000 followers already. It's all about who you know.
A quick Google search for "Baby Lux" returns more than 34 million results, and you don't even want to see the endless scroll of photo montages dedicated to the little girl on Tumblr—it's a black hole of extreme fandom you can never unsee. A shaky video published earlier this year of some girl getting a tattoo while One Direction member Harry Styles plays with Baby Lux in the background has close to a million views. Moral of the story: Teen girls basically run the Internet.
Don't take this the wrong way, Blue Ivy, but you've got some competition. You might be a recording artist already, but Baby Lux has been bottle-fed by Louis Tomlinson. Get to work!
Oh, Lady Gaga. You're the best.