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Beyonce on Her Miscarriage: "I Went for My Check Up & There Was No Heartbeat"

Bey reveals that she "picked out names" before learning that she lost her baby
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John Moore

We first learned of Beyonce's miscarriage after the birth of her first child, Blue Ivy, when proud papa Jay-Z released an ode to his newborn, "Glory." "False alarms and false starts," Jay rapped. "All made better by the sound of your heart / All the pain of the last time / I prayed so hard it was the last time." 

Beyonce clarified those lyrics, discussing her miscarriage for the first time in her upcoming documentary, Life Is But a Dream. "About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time," Beyonce confessed. "And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life."

"I picked out names, I envisioned what my child would look like... I was feeling very maternal." But in the early stages of the pregnancy, something went wrong. "I flew back to New York to get my check up—and no heartbeat. Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat."

After Beyonce discovered what happened, songwriting helped her heal. "I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life. And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album [4]. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."

Life Is But a Dream premieres on HBO February 16 at 9 PM.

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