7 Word Review

Today's Music News in 7 Words

Daily reviews of music, videos, people and news items without a wasted word
 / May 3, 2013

April 30: Danny Brown Allegedly Receives Oral Sex While Onstage

1 / 83

This fame is going to his head.

Jump ahead to 7 Word Reviews for May 2013

Aubree Lennon for Fuse

April 29: Ray J's "I Hit It First" Video Basically Confirms It's About Kim K

2 / 83

Worst baby shower gift of all time.

April 26: Lady Gaga is Godmother of Elton John's 2nd Kid, Too

3 / 83

Because kids just love that meat dress. 

Kevin Kane

April 25: Kelly Rowland Beats Beyonce on People Mag's "Most Beautiful Women" List

4 / 83

Real question: Where did Michelle Williams place? 

Kevin Mazur

April 24: The National to Play 1 Song for 6 Hours at Art Museum

5 / 83

They're a little late to impress Warhol. 

Stephen Lovekin

April 23: Michael Cera Directed Kelis In a Short Film

6 / 83

Weirder than when Woody Allen directed Madonna

April 22: Diarrhea Planet Cover Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run"

7 / 83

Making it "Born to Have the Runs."

April 19: Rush Inducted Into Rock Hall After Years of Online Petitioning

8 / 83

BREAKING: 600,000 white men seek new cause.

Kevin Winter

April 18: Brian Eno Making Ambient Music for Hospitals

9 / 83

But isn't ambient music already Ambien music?

Michael Ochs Archives

April 17: 10 Millionth Fake Daft Punk Single Leaks

10 / 83

But seriously, they found Kennedy's real killer.

April 16: Steve Buscemi Continues Vampire Weekend Crossover With Sketch Clip

11 / 83

Best thing that's ever happened to them.

April 15: Justin Bieber Hopes Anne Frank Would've Been a Belieber

12 / 83

Do you belieb in career after flub?

Larry Marano

April 12: Janelle Monae Reveals Erykah Badu Collabo via GIF

13 / 83

It's the GIF that keeps on giving. 

April 11: R. Kelly Is Working On Country Songs

14 / 83

Nelly, what Pandora's box have you opened?! 

Jason Kempin

April 10: Paul McCartney Says Usher Inspired New Album

15 / 83

Duh, Usher was on Sgt. Pepper's cover. 

Vallery Jean

April 9: Killer Mike & El-P Preview "Banana Clipper" Track

16 / 83

Mike = "Mr. Manager" of Banana Stand bangers. 

April 8: Britney Spears on Annette Funicello's Death: "I Think That's Great"

17 / 83

Britney: The proud new spokeswoman for Xanax. 

Jonathan Leibson

April 5: Backstreet Boys' New Album is "90% Done"

18 / 83

Non-Timberlake members of *NSYNC are jealous.

Charley Gallay

April 4: Ed Sheeran "Hasn't Heard of" Tokio Hotel

19 / 83

I believe "ignorance is bliss" applies here.

Eamonn McCormack/Getty Images

April 3: Fall Out Boy Add 2 Chainz to Growing List of Crazy Collabos

20 / 83

Still gunning for Noam Chomsky duet, though. 

Paul Warner

April 2: Rihanna Goes Shopping at Canadian Walmart

21 / 83

She found bargains in a hopeless place. 

Photo Credit: Maddy Ferguson/Twitter

April 1: Paul McCartney to Play Fenway Park on July 8

22 / 83

April Fools! He's actually performing July 9.

Kevin Mazur / Getty

March 28: Despite Questionable Lyric, Rick Ross Doesn't "Condone Rape"

23 / 83

He was rapping about consensually drugged drinks? 

March 27: XXL Makes Chief Keef 11th Freshmen on List of 10

24 / 83

They went to Chicago's Englewood schools too?

Johnny Nunez

March 26: Fan Sends Sliced-Off Ear to Jared Leto

25 / 83

Dude should Vincent van GOgh get help. 

Photo Credit: Jared Leto/Instagram

March 25: LL Cool J and Van Halen Preview Pope-Dissing Collabo

26 / 83

A crossover that panders to today's youth.

March 22: 'Saturday Night Fever' Soundtrack Joins U.S. Library of Congress

27 / 83

Because sometimes dated music truly is immortal. 

March 21: Miley Cyrus Twerks in Unicorn Onesie

28 / 83

The Internet exists for things like this. 

March 20: Bon Jovi Deny David Bowie First No. 1 Album on U.S. Charts

29 / 83

Even for Bowie, life isn't always fair. 

Michael Loccisano

March 19: Selena Gomez: "James Franco Is One of the Most Intelligent People I've Met"

30 / 83

Just wait 'til she meets Riff Raff!

Jason Merritt

March 18: Jay-Z Remixes Kendrick Lamar's "B-tch, Don't Kill My Vibe"

31 / 83

Somehow, this incredible track actually got better.

March 15: will.i.am & Justin Bieber Drop Collabo "#thatPOWER"

32 / 83

It's exactly as bad as #youFeared.

March 14: deadmau5 Disses EDM, Again

33 / 83

Mice always bite hands that feed them.

Sonia Recchia

March 13: Smashing Pumpkins Join SXSW Lineup

34 / 83

SXSW finally returns to its obscure roots.

Paul Bergen

March 12: Man Gets Shamrock Shake Dumped On Head During Harlem Shake

35 / 83

It's not easy being covered in green.

March 11: Selena Gomez Ditches Backing Band The Scene for New Album

36 / 83

Goodbye Sneezy, Dopey, Sleepy, Bashful and Doc.

Jeff Fusco

March 8: MTV Names Kendrick Lamar 'Hottest MC of 2012'

37 / 83

good kid, m.A.A.d city, great choice, MTV.

David Wolff - Patrick

March 7: Jessica Simpson Reveals Baby's Gender via Dick Joke on 'Kimmel'

38 / 83

Which means she's already interviewing child therapists. 

Randy Holmes

March 6: Andrew W.K. Is Now a Playtex Spokesman

39 / 83

Hey, not only rappers worry about flow. 

Photo Credit: Playtex/Facebook

March 5: Nicki Minaj Flaunts Those Curves For Her Kmart Line

40 / 83

SAAAADDD. Hugo Chavez would have loved this!

Jason LaVeris

March 4: Australian Miners Fired for Doing "Harlem Shake" on the Job

41 / 83

They should’ve tested it on canaries first.

March 1: Justin Bieber Turns 19

42 / 83

Time flies! Wasn't he just 18 yesterday?!

Give us your 7 word take on JB's birthday in the comments below!

Paul Morigi

Feb. 28: 'Law & Order: SVU' Airs Episode Inspired By Chris Brown's Assault on Rihanna

43 / 83

Somehow, even tackier than you would expect.

NBC Universal

Feb. 27: One 1D Member Gets Teacup Tattoo, Another Gets Shoe Thrown Into Groin

44 / 83

Question for either: One lump or two?


Feb. 26: Morrissey Pulls Out of 'Kimmel' Over Guests From Hunting Show 'Duck Dynasty'

45 / 83

Singer also unhappy Kimmel once squashed bug.  


Feb. 25: 'Jaws' Theme Drowns Out Lengthy Acceptance Speeches at Oscars

46 / 83

Killer shark theme becomes killer snark meme.

Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

Feb. 22: Nick Cave Name Checks Miley Cyrus on New Album

47 / 83

After Googling him, she'll respond in kind.

Feb. 21: Hackers Force Donald Trump to Tweet Lil Wayne Lyrics About "These Hoes"

48 / 83

Oh no! He'll become a laughing stock.

David Becker

Feb. 20: Emeli Sande Owns 2013 BRIT Awards

49 / 83

That means you should probably Google her.

Dave J Hogan/Getty Images

Feb. 19: Michael Jackson's 16-Year-Old Son Gets Job as TV Reporter

50 / 83

Interviews to be conducted behind black veils.

Feb. 15: Nicki Minaj Tweets Booty Pic, Urges Fans to "Jerk Responsibly"

51 / 83

Wait, hasn't Gloria Steinem done this before? 

Photo Credit: Nicki Minaj/Twitter

Feb. 14: Torn Hip Forces Lady Gaga to Cancel Born This Way Ball Tour

52 / 83

Prognosis: "Baby, I was torn this way."

Kevin Mazur

Feb. 13: The Weeknd's NSFW "Twenty Eight" Video

53 / 83

The Weeknd drowns sorrows in fantasy Boobyland.

Aubree Lennon for Fuse

Feb. 12: Chris Brown Snags an Adele Pic at the Grammys

54 / 83

They call this "Rolling In the Creep."

What do you think about Adele and Chris Brown snappin' pics together? Give us your 7-word take on it below!

Larry Busacca

Feb. 11: fun. Win Best New Artist Grammy After Releasing Their Second Album

55 / 83

Paul McCartney may be eligible next year. 

Give us your 7-word take on fun.'s better-late-than-never "Best New Artist" win in the comments below!

Christopher Polk

Feb 8: Justin Bieber Fans Weather Snowstorm to Get 'SNL' Tickets

56 / 83

Beliebers bear blizzard's brunt by being bonkers. 

Feb. 7: Justin Timberlake Becomes Creative Director of Bud Light Platinum

57 / 83

The 20/20 Experience puts on beer goggles.

Christopher Polk

Feb. 6: Mariah Carey Recorded a Song for Disney's 'Wizard of Oz' Prequel

58 / 83

"There's No Place Like a $80,000,000 Home."

James Devaney

Feb. 5: My Morning Jacket Singer Jim James Releases Knockout Solo Album

59 / 83

This dude should spend more time alone. 

Feb. 4: Fall Out Boy Announce Return to Music

60 / 83

Guyliner stock shares rocketed 40 points today.

What do you think about Fall Out Boy's return to rock? Give us your 7 Word Review below!

Jamie McCarthy

Feb. 1: HBO Teases Al Pacino as Phil Spector in Upcoming Biopic

61 / 83

The movie is called Dog Day Afro-noon. 

Phillip V. Caruso / HBO

Jan. 31: Tim & Eric's Tim Heidecker Performs Anti-Super Bowl Anthem in the Style of Bob Dylan

62 / 83

Funny, but Dylan still parodies Dylan best. 

Jan. 30: Rihanna Owns Up to Romantic Reunion With Chris Brown: "If It's a Mistake, It's My Mistake"

63 / 83

Replace "if it's" with "Goddamn, this is." 

Or is RiRi and CB's relationship "Nobody's Business"? Gives us your seven-word take on it below!

Noel Vasquez

Jan. 29: Justin Bieber Releases 'Believe Acoustic' Album

64 / 83

Because regular Believe was just too loud.

Jamie McCarthy

Jan 28: Chris Brown Reportedly Attacked Frank Ocean Over Parking Spot

65 / 83

Chris Brown and handcuffs to collaborate soon. 

What do you think about the alleged Ocean/Brown spat? Give us your own 7-word take below!

Getty Images, 2

Jan. 25: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blur & The Stone Roses to Headline Coachella

66 / 83

1992's favorite bands come to Coachella 2013.

Got your own 7 word take on the Coachella lineup? Give it to us in the comments below!

Jesse Grant

Jan. 24: Shaggy Denies Death Rumors

67 / 83

His body hasn't yet joined his career. 

Ilya S. Savenok

Jan. 23: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Top Billboard Hot 100 With "Thrift Shop"

68 / 83

R. Kelly's piss finally hits No. 1!

Jan. 22: Beyonce Lip-Syncs National Anthem at Presidential Inauguration

69 / 83

FAIL to the Chief, amirite? (Actually, IDGAF.)

Stan Honda/AFT/Getty Images

Jan. 18: Paul Dano to Play Beach Boys' Tortured Genius Brian Wilson in Biopic

70 / 83

There Will Be Coked-Out Mental Breakdowns

Jan. 17: Mariah Carey/Nicki Minaj Beef Begins on 'Idol' Premiere

71 / 83

Feud obscures Idol's mission: Mocking sh-tty singers.  

Imeh Akpanudosen

Jan. 16: Selena Gomez Gives "Drunk" Interview at Golden Globes After-Party

72 / 83

20-something maybe drunk at party. Scandal!

Jan. 15: Ryan Gosling Was Almost a Backstreet Boy?

73 / 83

Love BSB, but Gos dodged a bullet.

Tim Roney/Getty Images (Backstreet Boys) Randy Holmes/ABC via Getty Images (Gosling)

Jan. 14: Justin Timberlake Releases First Single in 6 Years: "Suit & Tie" ft. Jay-Z

74 / 83

Disappointingly safe—it's cute but not hot. 

Jan. 11: Ke$ha's "C'Mon" Video

75 / 83

Sexy plushie rampage conceals world’s laziest lyrics.

Jan. 10: Justin Timberlake Announces Return to Music with "I'm Ready" Video

76 / 83

Yes/Pinch me/It's about f**king time.

Jan. 9: One Direction's "Kiss You" Video

77 / 83

Shirtless frolicking boys cause fatal ovary explosion.

Jan. 8: Taylor Swift & Harry Styles End One-Month Relationship

78 / 83

Celebrity romance ends ahead of expiration date.

Getty Images, 2

Jan. 7: fun. Contribute Track to HBO's 'Girls' Soundtrack

79 / 83

Lena Dunham's Girls Just Wanna Have fun.

Jan. 4: R. Kelly Sings About Tragic Newton School Shooting

80 / 83

Hmmmm. That's all I'm saying about this.

David Livingston

Jan. 3: Ed Sheeran Named Worst-Dressed Man By GQ

81 / 83

Always wearing the same hoodie isn't fashionable?

Jan. 2: Lil Wayne Gets "Baked" Tattooed on Head

82 / 83

He must really like cookies n' cupcakes!

Photo Credit: Tha Real Tunechi

Jan. 1: Nas Rings In 2013 with New Year's Eve Show

83 / 83

Providing a safe alternative to jam bands.

Aubree Lennon for Fuse

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Photo of the day

July 25: Gaga Goes 'Cheek to Cheek' in the Studio

July 25: Gaga Goes 'Cheek to Cheek' in the Studio

Whatcha shootin' for, Gaga? Mother Monster uploaded a pic to her Instagram late last night of what looks like a video crew recording her in the studio. She tagged pictures from that night with "#CheekToCheek," the title for her Tony Bennett collaboration LP. Maybe we're getting a making-of documentary for the album too? Fingers crossed!