From Prince to Tom Petty, Shania Twain to Beyonce, a plethora of pop, rock, country and other stars have performed on the makeshift stage that rolls onto the field at halftime on Super Bowl Sunday. Execs broker and book the artists, but who do hardcore football fans--those in the rafters and the millions at home glued to their TVs--really want to see onstage? Who is their dream halftime performer, dead or alive?
To find out, Fuse hit New York City's notorious football bars, asked jersey-sporting friends and even posted polls on social media. The answer? Hardcore fans wanna rock.
The chances of getting the original GNR lineup back together are worse than raising Elvis from the bed. But, hey, is there a more appropriate pump-up song than "Welcome to the Jungle"? It'd certainly crank the on-field action up to 11.
Awesomely-named football fan Brent Marino suggests Weezer, performing in their all-gold jumpsuits, and that's a good call: What's better than the bespectacled Rivers Cuomo singing to a stadium full of the football jocks that probably gave him swirlies in high school? The nerds always get the last word.
Weezer could handout snuggles to cold fans and that big "W" onstage could light up when the band drop into the hooky chorus of "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To." And as he's wont to do, Rivers could even dribble the soccer ball a bit onstage, just to rub it in.
If it's sheer spectacle officials seek, then the Icelandic songstress would be an ideal pick. She wears wild, feathery costumes, including huge orange wigs, and sings with a massive all-female choir. It could be a learning experience, too. Bjork's latest album, Biophilia, deals in topics of nature and science--imagine the giant volcano diorama erupting at the 50-yard line, while a DNA strand made of thread descends from the rafters and a flash of lightning from a Tesla coil zaps the stage. Awesome!
What's more aggressive than Public Enemy's "Fight the Power"? And, as football fan Nate Fish points out, this song is fitting because Public Enemy "are black militants like most of the men on the field."
As Madonna proved in 2012, the Super Bowl is an ideal platform to promote new material, and Mr. Bowie has a new album and single to promote. But new material aside, how invigorating would a stellar performance of "Heroes" be? "We can be heroes everyday!!!" Imagine 100,000 singing that in unison.
Since we're getting all heady-wishful here, why not John, Paul, George and Ringo? "Twist and Shout" would surely rock the house, and maybe Matthew Broderick would appear singing-along, on a parade float, in those sexy shades of his. Or! A later version of the Fab Four could sing "Black Bird," because clearly they're Ravens fans.
T. Rextasy lives! Before Marc Bolan died in a car crash, the singer (who never had a driver's license himself) sang about cars, women, revolutionary children, wizards and banging gongs, all of which had fans going absolutely bats hit bonkers (see the crowd above). His classic "Bang a Gong (Get It On)" would slay, and his dalliances backstage with the cheerleaders would be more newsworthy than the game itself.
Is there a more appropriate halftime spectacle for America's pastime? Imagine it: A 69-year-old Hendrix walks onstage, six hits of LSD placed under his bandana, then rips into the most searing, warped, rockin' version of the "Star Spangled Banner" ever. Then he lights his guitar on fire, looks around the stadium and grabs his mic and chuckles, "Can ya dig it? Yeaahhhhhhh."
The rivalry between football fans is fierce. But can't we all put down the beer bong and all get along? Bob Marley would certainly help spread the peace and love, while delivering a message to the players: Lively Up Yourself, Man.
The bright keytar riff of "Jump" echoes through the stadium. The crowd jumps in time with the straight drums beats. Highlights of football stars jumping and diving for the ball is played on the overhead screens. David Lee Roth, in bright red spandex, does a signature high-kick onstage, then falls into the crowd. He's caught by a bombshell blonde, who carries him away as DLR winks and lip-licks to the camera. The band cancel the rest of their promotional tour. It's meant to be!
What kind of time warp?! '90s (and early 2000s) rock icons Fred Durst, Scott Weiland and Mark McGrath get photobombed by '70s icon Wayne Newton, aka Mr. Las Vegas. This should be all these guys' Christmas cards.