The BRIT Awards, aka England's way funnier, way drunker version of the Grammys, kicks off tomorrow night at London's O2 Arena. Other than an already-announced apology for cutting off Adele's speech last year, the BRITs are as unpredictable as awards ceremonies come. But Fuse is taking a stab at predicting (guesstimating?) this year's winners. Check 'em out below, then place your bets in the comments.
Winner: Calvin Harris
Because: Duh, EDM is, like, so big this year. Harris even got Florence Welch to weirdly strip in their video for "Sweet Nothing," which is one of the year's best songs.
Winner: Jessie Ware
Because: Devotion is a debut album so strong that it could support not one, but probably five careers. Or just one really, really big career. So expect good things from Ms. Ware.
Winner: Amy Winehouse
Because: After this, she's gone forever folks. No more singles and no more posthumous albums (hopefully), so this would be her last win. Plus, the acceptance speech from Papa Winehouse will be a tear-jerker.
Winner: Mumford & Sons
Because: Aside from America's Sweetheart/Heartbreaker Taylor Swift, Mumford & Sons sold the most albums in the U.S. in 2012. And since 1776 there's nothing Brits love than seeing Americans losing.
Winner: The Rolling Stones
Because: Because, like Winehouse, this will probably be the Stones' last opportunity at the podium. And every Brit wants to watch grouchy ol' Ronnie Wood drunk in public to make themselves feel better.
Winner: Lana Del Rey
Because: Her album Born to Die sold super well in the U.K. And after that disastrous turn on Saturday Night Live, she even sang decently for the U.K.'s Jools Holland. In short: Lana does well in England.
Winner: The Black Keys
Because: The Ohio-bred blue-rock duo won a ton of awards at the Grammys, which is a good enough indicator for us.
British Producer of the Year:
Winner: Damon Albarn
Because: He's in a little British band called Blur. Maybe you've heard of them? They're royalty in the U.K. and you don't publicly diss the royals, unless you want your head removed.
British Album of the Year:
Mumford & Sons
Because: Real talk: The band's debut album An Awesome Wave was indeed awesome and it returned the World Wide Web's buzz-o-meter across the Atlantic.
Winner: Frank Ocean
Because: Um, have you heard channel ORANGE?
Winner: Alex Clare
Because: His hit "Too Close" is unofficially England's most ubiquitous pop export this year. It's a patchwork of folk, pop and dubstep sounds and has a whopping 40 million YouTube views. Disagree with that.