Valentine's Day

Groupies & Rockers' Ex-Wives Give Love 'n' Sex Advice

Just in time for Valentine's Day, we've collected tips on romance, relationships and gettin' it on from the superstars of snagging rock stars
February 13, 2013

Bebe Buell

Michael Ochs Archives

Bebe Buell—who dated Elvis Costello and Mick Jagger, inspired the Penny Lane character in Almost Famous and is the mother of Steven Tyler's daughter Liv—described to Vulture her carefree approach toward finding famous lovers: 

“I just followed my heart, you know? I never went looking for boyfriends or anything. I was just a Forrest Gump of rock n' roll. I happened to be in the right place at the right time. Every relationship I’ve had, sexual or nonsexual, has been based on chemistry. I never just dated somebody because they were a rock star.”

Pamela Anderson

Jeffrey Mayer

The former wife of Kid Rock as well as Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee (and the mother of his children), Pamela Anderson had a successful acting career in addition to her status as a sex icon for 20 years: She was on Home Improvement, Baywatch and, of course, the Pam/Tommy sex tape. Speaking of which, the Barb Wire star has the following advice for a rockin' sex life

“For your best orgasm ever, go vegetarian.”

Sharise Neil

Time & Life Pictures

The former wife of Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil and currently one of the stars on Fuse's Ex-Wives of Rock, Sharise tells Fuse that if you're serious about a rocker, don't give it up on the first date: 

“Play hard to get. Don't give it up. It's that easy. I remember Erik Turner from Warrant saying to my brother that he was going to marry the first girl that made him wait five dates to have sex. I mean, really? Was that not telling or what? Guys like to wait. Make them wait!”

Carmen Electra

Ron Galella, Ltd.

Carmen Electra—who has the elite honor of having dated Prince—offered the following useful, but depressing, advice to Cosmo mag:

“Guys can get bored easily. A relationship has to have somewhere to go. Don’t always act available and accommodating. Be vague occasionally and tell him you are busy but would love to get together another day when he asks you out.”

Pamela Des Barres

Michael Ochs Archives

Pamela Des Barres, whose conquests include Jimmy Page, Mick Jagger and Jim Morrison, frequently defends groupies against allegations that rock stars "use" them:

“We inspired the guys as much as we were inspired by them. It was very equal. They loved us because we dared to have a blast. We looked after them, picked their clothes and showed them the best restaurants to go to.”

Pattie Boyd

Michael Ward

Pattie Boyd became the envy of half of the planet in 1966 when she married one of the Beatles after meeting George Harrison on the set of A Hard Day's Night. While still married to George, she became the muse of Eric Clapton who wrote "Layla" as a plea for her love. She ended up divorcing Harrison, marrying Clapton and then eventually divorcing him. Years later, she posited the following theory on her time as a rock star vixen:

“I was a very shy person and, I suppose, easily manipulated. Of course it's flattering to feel someone desperately wants you, but looking back, it's quite uncomfortable to realize that you were the object of desire. That's quite a passive thing to be.”

Karrine "Superhead" Steffans

Monica Morgan

Karrine "Superhead" Steffans managed a seemingly impossible feat: She started out as a groupie and ended up a legitimate bestselling author (she writes the Vixen series). As someone who has bagged an A-list roster of stars from Usher to Bobby Brown to Shaq, she has some very informed opinions about sex. Here's what she once told Time Out:

“Sex is empowering for men because they use it as a bargaining tool when a woman wants something. They use it to persuade her, like, 'If you give me this, I'll give you that.' It becomes a barter system. For women, I think sex is power when you don't use it. It's the illusion or the possibility of sex without giving in to the urge. Men will go to the end of the earth to figure out what they can do and you have the upper hand. Harness it.”

Bobbie Brown

Steve Granitz / WireImage

Bobbie Brown was hitched to the lead singer of Warrant and can be seen frenching Tommy Lee in the picture above. Now she's one of Fuse's Ex-Wives of Rock and she offered us these thoughts on dating:

“If they seem suspicious, if he seems too good to be true or if they don't follow their words up with actions, it's bullsh-t. Don't waste your life on people that don't treat you right or respect you. Or if you've caught them in lies already.”

Connie Hamzy

Connie Hamzy is the rare groupie to earn the ultimate honor: A name check in a hit single. Sure, it's a Grand Funk Railroad song, but hey, it's a classic rock radio staple! "Sweet, sweet Connie, doin' her act/ She had the whole show and that's a natural fact," GFR sang in their No. 1 single "We're An American Band." Never one to BS (Hamzy once said, "I'm sorry, but if you’re backstage sucking d-ck, you’re a groupie,") the Grank Funk muse offered this advice for prospective groupies:

“I don’t play the games. Most bands are only in town for a few hours. There isn’t time for dinner and a movie. There isn’t time for romance. My attitude has always been, ‘Time’s a wastin,' let’s get it on!'”

Athena Lee

Athena is one of Fuse's Ex-Wives of Rock (she was married to the drummer of Scorpions) and is also Tommy Lee's younger sister. When we asked her to give us some relationships tips during a fan Q&A, she offered this bit of wisdom: 

“Stay single! There are so many people out there.”

Tura Satana

Although she's best remembered today as a b-movie actress (she was one of the amoral badasses in the cult classic Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!), Tura Satana dated none other than Elvis Presley as a teenage burlesque dancer. The King was so smitten that he even proposed to her. "I said no but he told me to never forget him and I haven't," Satana recollected years later. Satana's advice for romance? Honor thy father and mother:

“The older I got, the smarter I realized my parents were. It takes the trials and errors of your youth to learn from your own mistakes. I think that all things happen for a purpose and that purpose is to teach you. Hopefully you learn the lesson the first time. If not, you go through it again.”

Cynthia Plaster Caster

Mick Hutson

The groupie famous for making plaster molds of rockers' penises—her lengthy collection spans everyone from Jimi Hendrix to indie artist Ariel Pink—has the following advice on getting rock stars to drop their ripped jeans and leather pants:

“Laughter was an important component for me to get comfortable in the presence of one of my demi-gods.”

In other words: If you get backstage, always open with a knock-knock joke.

Penny Lane from 'Almost Famous'

Okay, so she's not exactly a real human being, but the Mother Superior groupie from Almost Famous has some valuable advice nonetheless: 

“I always tell the girls, 'Never take it seriously.' If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. You never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.”

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