Frank Hoensch

Most of my valentine’s days were just spent watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and getting cards from my mom every year. She puts a question mark like I’m not going to know.

There was one year when I was 15 when I had this "boyfriend."  He was in a metal band and we used to text each other. I thought I was going to have an exciting Valentine's Day, but he dumped me on text by saying, “You’re a bitch and you’re dumped.”

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