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Not-So-Silent Night: 14 Punk Rock Christmas Classics

From Stiff Little Fingers to Blink-182 to Fall Out Boy, here's your musical antidote to the boring barrage of easy-listening holiday tunes

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Like it or not, the holidays are upon us. And that means sugary Christmas music is taking over every department store, elevator, TV commercial and ringtone known to mankind for weeks on end.

Fortunately, you're not the first to feel the pain brought on by an inundation of easy-listening holiday tunes. Since 1977, punk bands have been coughing up snotty covers of Christmas standards and delivering ferocious originals as an antidote to the dullness of most Xmas tunes. So from Fall Out Boy's A Christmas Story-referencing "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" to the Vandals' "Oi to the World" to Fear's bluntly titled "F-ck Christmas," here are Fuse's 13 Punk Rock Christmas Classics.

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The Ravers: "(It's Gonna Be A) Punk Rock Christmas"

Although the L.A. punk outfit the Ravers are long forgotten, their 1977 single is an underground holiday classic.  It's a little hokey with lyrics like, "Johnny Ramone will get a sled for a car" and "Even Santa will be a Sex Pistol for a day," but the furious final minute makes this a classic Xmas rager. 

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Fall Out Boy: "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out"

Leave it to Chicago pop-punk kings Fall Out Boy to make the most angsty, lovelorn Christmas song of the last decade. Bonus: The title references A Christmas Story, one of the few legitimately hilarious holiday movies.

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My Chemical Romance: "All I Want For Christmas is You"

My Chemical Romance turn Mariah Carey's sugary-sweet ode to her lover into a sloppy, world-weary plea for companionship on the holidays.   

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Fear: "F-ck Christmas"

Lee Ving's pioneering hardcore punk band delivered the ultimate "f-ck you" to Saint Nick in 1982 with a 47-second song about hungry children on the streets.  

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The Vandals: "Oi to the World"

SoCal punks the Vandals released an entire Christmas record in 1996. Although "Christmas Time for My Penis" is undoubtedly the best song title on the LP, this song just might be punk's ultimate Christmas classic. 

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Blink-182: "I Won't Be Home For Christmas"

Don't let your mom hear this one. She might not appreciate Mark Hoppus' unique take on Christmas cheer. 

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Rancid: "Xmas Eve (She Got Up and Left Me)"

As you might've guessed from the title, this isn't a happy holiday song. But heartache and the holidays aren't mutually exclusive, and this song is a cathartic rocker for the jilted and lonely on Christmas Eve. 

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Stiff Little Fingers: "White Christmas"

British punk pioneers Stiff Little Fingers chewed up and spit out the most-covered Christmas song of all time in 1979. Halfway through, they double their attack and tear it to shreds. 

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The Wonder Years: "Christmas at 22"

The Pennsylvania realist pop-punk sextet provide an acoustic anthem for the long drive between campus and your parents' house.

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Ramones: "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)"

No, it's not a plea for World Peace—just Joey Ramone begging his loved one not to tear into his throat on the holiday. 

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Relient K: "Angels We Have Heard On High"

Known for frontman Matt Thiessen's pop vocal prowess and a dedication to contemporary Christian themes in their lyrics, the Ohio rock band mix the best of both worlds in this catchy version of a holiday standard. 

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Bad Religion: "Little Drummer Boy"

Veteran punk rockers Bad Religion released their first Christmas album this year as a warm-up for a rumored 17th studio album coming in 2014. Sample it with this pounding, relentless take on the Xmas standard. 

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The Dickies: "Silent Night"

This 1978 single from Cali Valley punks the Dickies is a snotty, snarling take on the Christmas favorite. Their version is less about religion, more about gleeful camp. 

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5 Seconds of Summer, All Time Low, Good Charlotte, Goldfinger & Simple Plan, "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"

Are you sitting down? Good. This piece of holiday perfection takes Alex Gaskarth of All Time LowGoldfinger frontman John Feldmann, Joel Madden of Good CharlotteAshton Irwin of 5 Seconds of Summer and Pierre Bouvier of Simple Plan for the greatest cover of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" that you will ever hear. Don't blindly believe us; press play above!

Oh, and the whole dang thing is for charity. How great is that?

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