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The 9 Most Uncomfortable Metaphors on R. Kelly's 'Black Panties'

Check out R. Kelly's most gross-out-inducing lyrics from his latest album, 'Black Panties'

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R. Kelly, Master Lyricist

R. Kelly recently told The Boombox that his favorite sex metaphor he ever wrote is his song "Remote Control" from his 2005 album TP.3 Reloaded. "I started seeing the buttons like control, volume, mute and things like that, and I said, 'Wow. I can make this a song,'" Kellz eloquently told the website.

Sure, "I'll be your remote/ Touch me, turn me on" might be a pretty slick way to suggest getting it on, but R. really takes the icky metaphor game up on a notch on his new album, Black Panties. Hey, at least he's teaching the kids about an important literary device.

Take a look through the most gross-out-inducing lines from Kelly's latest album, and then go take a shower. Black Panties officially drops December 10.

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LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 30: R. Kelly performs onstage during R. Kelly, New Edition and The Jacksons at the 2013 BET Experience
Earl Gibson III/Getty Images for BET

See what's a shock, girl/ When I touch you with my taser tongue - "Legs Shakin'" feat. Ludacris

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MIAMI, FL - OCTOBER 21: R. Kelly performs during his "Single Ladies" tour at James L Knight Center on October 21, 2012 in Mia
Vallery Jean/FilmMagic

Your legs in the air, my hands all up in your cookie jar - "Cookie"

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ATLANTA, GA - AUGUST 26: R. Kelly attends Platinum Edition Of ATL Live on the Park at Park Tavern on August 26, 2013 in Atlan
Prince Williams/FilmMagic

Every lyric on "Marry the P-ssy."

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MIAMI, FL - OCTOBER 17: R Kelly performs at James L Knight Center on October 17, 2013 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Vallery Je
Vallery Jean/FilmMagic

Girl, tonight you're lying with a sex genius - "Genius"

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DETROIT, MI - NOVEMBER 17: Robert Kelly performs as R. Kelly at Fox Theatre on November 17, 2012 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo
Paul Warner/Getty Images

There ain't no such thing as a half a snake/ So baby girl, we might as well go all the way like we did before - "All the Way" featuring Kelly Rowland

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LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 24: Recording artist/music producer R. Kelly attends the 2013 American Music Awards at Nokia Theat
David Livingston/Getty Images

Models roll my indo/ I beat the p-ssy, Django - "My Story" featuring 2 Chainz

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NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 15: R. Kelly performs at Arise Made In Africa Spring 2012 Designer Collective at Mercedes Benz NY Fa
Donna Ward/Getty Images

Three models, one me/ And they all on the d-ck, call it 3D - "Spend That" featuring Jeezy

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - JULY 03: R. Kelly performs at the Mann Center For Performing Arts on July 3, 2011 in Philadelphia, Pennsyl
Gilbert Carrasquillo/WireImage

So put your legs around my neck, get it Aquafina wet - "Every Position"

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NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 21: R. Kelly performs at MSG Theater on November 21, 2012 in New York City.  (Photo by Jason Kempin/G
Jason Kempin/Getty Images

Bet you gonna take all of this tonight/ These inches in your life - "Lights On"


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