Music is a source of comfort and catharsis for most people, so we stocked our musical pharmacy with some tunes to cure your ailments. From home sick to heart sick, check with us weekly for new musical prescriptions.
Ailment: Urinary Tract Infection
You've gotta go to the bathroom, so you do. Now, you're walking back to your cubicle and you realize you are experiencing the urgent tingling sensation that means you already have to pee again, so you do. But as soon as your bladder empties, you experience a burning sensation that can only be explained by the bacterial infection known as a UTI. No matter how many darn trips you make to the bathroom, that urge to pee just...lingers.
Drug Name: The Cranberries (sorry, but I had to)
Active Ingredients: The band name and the lyrics "don't let it burn," "it's tearing me apart / it's ruining everything." The paradox of the serene, radiant voice of Dolores O'Riordan and her vocal ability to get up inside your head and lull you into a '90s stupor.
Uses: To calm your anxious bladder with the soft musical stylings of the '90s while providing some consolation for your lingering urges.
Directions: Press play, drink water and repeat. Add real cranberries.
Preventative dose: Ladies, always pee right before and right after sex. No excuses. Play "Ring of Fire" to remind you that if you don't empty that bladder you'll get those "burns, burns, burns" yet again!
Do you have an ailment you need a cure for? Write us at email@example.com with your sickness, story and handle so we can respond with a musical fix.