John Legend has his own ideas for the cinematic Downton Abbey theme song, which is devoid of lyrics. The singer took to Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Monday night (Mar. 7) to drop his twist on the BBC drama's music.

Legend sat at a grand piano, singing passionately as he opened his song: "Everyone we know is very white. We don't have one black friend."

Other pithy one-liners include: "Grandmama is always such a witch. She needs to get laid"; "It is time for tea and then a nap. I want a scone right now"; and "Edith is such a loser. Why won't she just die? Why? Why?"

I don't know about deciding Edith's fate, but I do agree that we all need scones right now.