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Perhaps the juiciest part of any celeb feud is how the Internet is going to gawk at it. And most of the time, depending on how public the beef is, media sites are going to clench down with excruciating obsession and rip the story apart, leaving only specks of blood and guts behind.

Think I'm being dramatic? I learn from the best. Take a look at how online media devoured the fact that exes Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez traded petty comments on Instagram over the weekend. The headlines themselves are proof.

Buzzfeed

Let's start with this one: Bieber apparently "scalped" Gomez? Like how you cut off someone's head skin to kill them and then claim their hair as a prize? (Buzzfeed)

Perez Hilton

In many headlines, you'll see ALL-CAPS happening. That's to emphasize the drama. (Perez)

Us Weekly

And a lot of slamming. (Us Weekly)

TMZ

You always have to love the paraphrasing that TMZ does, twisting the knife a little.

E! News

Some sites wrote about the Instagram comments as if they weren't even sure if they should. (E! News)

Vanity Fair

Vanity Fair's headline treats the incident as if it were an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel.

Oh No They Didn't

Fan sites were a bit more direct. (Oh No They Didn't)

Jezebel

Jelena comments were quoted in all the right places. Sad. (Jezebel)

Vogue

Esteemed fashion mag Vogue had their own breakdown.

Refinery 29

And a very sober Refinery 29 gave probably the most accurate description of events.

Bro Bible

I didn't even know that Selena Gomez had a blowtorch. (Bro Bible)

Paper

Behold, relevant Olympics reference. (Paper)

News 18

This one actually makes sense. (News 18)

New Zealand Herald

Grandma Eunice would scold Gomez for not being a polite young lady with all the sassing. (New Zealand Herald)

Capital FM

DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Capital FM)