Ellen came back for its 14th season on Tuesday, and already on day two, the inimitable DeGeneres is wreaking havoc with Britney Spears in a mall. Watch the super-sized segment above: Ellen regally announces herself and Britney as celebrities many, many times; Ellen gets Britney to shoplift, consequence-free, in the name of celebrity... after getting her to run a stop sign on the way there.
As the mall starts to catch on to the stars' presence, Ellen takes a minute to teach impressionable children the importance of money and fame. She even pulls the "do you know who I am?" card with young children in the form of a casually dropped "I'm Dory."