Sad Man Sues Text-Messaging Date for $17 for Ruining 'Guardians of the Galaxy 2'

What's worse, people texting in a movie theater, or people who lose their shit because someone in a dark room has redirected their own attention temporarily to a small, likely dimly lit rectangle?

Before you answer, contemplate this new entry in the book of America's gravest modern sin: A 37-year-old man from Austin, Texas named Brandon Vezmar is suing his date, a 35-year-old woman, for $17.31 because she texted during Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. The two met online and it was their first time meeting.

The Austin American-Statesman newspaper broke the news to the woman—who requested anonymity because who in the world wouldn't, with this foolishness—on the phone. “Oh my god. This is crazy,” she said, adding that she was helping a friend in a relationship crisis, "wasn't bothering anybody" and wasn't texting nonstop.