'Zoolander 2' Trailer Ponders Mysteries of the Universe, Ugly People
You didn't expect the Zoolander 2 trailer to begin with a science-y introduction to the universe. You just didn't, and your shouldn't lie about it.
But it makes sense, sort of, that a minute-long soliloquy on the mystery and mystique of human life and sentience builds to Derek Zoolander, empty-headed model and purveyoer of Blue Steel, asking, "If God exists, then why did he make ugly people?"
Listen, Derek: If God exists, why'd he create you? (And why'd he make us wait 14 years for a sequel?)
The real revelation here's that 2oolander didn't work for the title, nor did Zoolander II, so they ended up going with the standard Zoolander 2. You can still call it 2oolander, though, because that's too good to waste. (Still made, by the way, they didn't call Fast & Furious just Fast & the 4ious. BOOOOOO!!)
That's all we get for the first trailer. The second one will show up eventually, it'll feature footage, Owen Wilson, maybe a hint of plot, hopefully a bit of that Justin Bieber parkour scene, and, presumably, more Blue Steel but less science. (And zero Lady Gaga, womp wommmp.)