So Kanye West has sent his crew of minions to the Middle East to scout for locations for a possible mini-movie a la "Runaway." We can all agree this is a fantastic idea, partly for the visionary and compelling visual aesthetic of Yeezy's videos and partly for the inherent humor this will inevitably provide.
Kanye hasn't pegged the film to a specific project or song, so we took the liberty of dreaming five things we hope will happen if His Highness visits the Middle East:
- West will sit down with Yemen President Ali Abdullah Saleh and convince him why he should change the name from Yemen to ‘Ye Men. Political turmoil will ensue, forcing chief hip hop diplomat Jay-Z to immediately board his Gulfstream–now renamed Persian Gulfstream for obvious appeasement reasons–to quash the incident. Cam’ron, founder of rap group The Diplomats, will sit in his Harlem apartment and sulk.
- In a misguided attempt to cater to regional tastes, West will record a sequel to Busta Rhymes’ controversial 2008 hit "Arab Money,” which references “camel toes” and “growing beards.” The song will be entitled “Get that Moolah, Abdullah,” causing West to not understand why everyone hates him again.
- In the vein of “Diamonds from Sierra Leone,” (Remix) West will spend a few hours researching the plight of some oppressed people in the Middle East and, you know, dash off a song or something.
- After falling in love with the area, the rapper will plan a massive tour of the region entitled “From Kanye West to Middle East.” The Internet will make jokes.
- He will finally be able to get those “cherub rugs with Persian imagery.”
A source told the Observer that “A bidding war is going on between various government entities and private investors to fund the film." Hidden footage of these negotiations would be better than any video Kanye will produce.