On Wednesday evening, NYC DJ/professional bomb sound effect dropper Funkmaster Flex premiered "Theraflu," the new Kanye West track featuring DJ Khaled and produced by Hit Boy, the 24-year-old producer best known for Watch the Throne's "N**gas in Paris".
I don't care, Jason. I'm sick of Kanye, but I still want to be part of the national music conversation so I'm not the weird person in my office/dorm/asylum shunned by my peers. I got you. Here are the five lines everyone will be talking about.
1. Kanye Shows (Quasi) Love for Wiz Khalifa
Lyric: "Only n***a I got respect for is Wiz/And I’ll admit, I fell in love with Kim/‘Round the same time she had fell in love wit’ him/Well, that’s cool, baby girl, do ya thing/Lucky I ain’t have Jay drop him from the team"
Backstory: It's been a minute since Amber Rose and West broke up, only to see the model begin dating now-fiancé Wiz Khalifa. No hard feelings, apparently. Here, Kanye addresses the situation for the first time, admits to falling in love with Kim Kardashian and threatens Kardashian ex-husband/New Jersey Net Kris Humphries, who technically calls Nets co-owner Jay-Z his boss.
2. Kanye Still Hates PETA
Lyric: "Tell PETA my mink is draggin’ on the floor."
Backstory: After his nomination for "Worst Dressed Celeb" by PETA in 2009, Kanye justified his use of fur by noting that "we are the f***ing rock stars baby." I impatiently await the PETA diss track response.
3. Kanye Namedrops Famous Friends
Lyric: "Dinner with Anna Wintour, racin’ with Anja Rubik."
Backstory: Guess Yeezy is cool with fashion queen Wintour, who said, when asked about West's much-maligned fashion line last year, "Ask someone else." Polish model and West friend Rubik is best known to hip hop fans as "that woman who planned an elaborate Gypsy-themed Halloween party with the rapper."
4. Kanye is Still Proud of Those Stripper Shoes
Lyric: "$6,000 pair of shoes, I made it to the Paris news."
Backstory: Hey, remember those West-designed $5,883 wooly sock/stripper shoe hybrid we told you about earlier this year? They apparently made a Parisian newspaper. The rapper conveniently fails to mention whether the review was good or bad, though.
5. Kanye Will Upload Your Murder
Lyric: "Might even kill somebody and YouTube it/So whoever think they words affect me is too stupid"
Backstory: None. I just like the idea of Kanye trying to upload a video to YouTube and yelling at the monitor for taking too long.
And there you have it. You are now an Instant "Theraflu" Expert, ready to annoy your friends and co-workers with useless hip hop/pop culture trivia. Expect to see this one on every fashion site (Thanks Anna Wintour), sports site (Thanks Kris Humphries), gossip site (Thanks Kim Kardashian) and music site. But if you still want to listen to the track, we've got it right here.
Listen to Kanye West & DJ Khaled's "Theraflu" below.