April 5, 2012


Watch Jack White's Bizarre "Sixteen Saltines" Video

Jack White's bizarre "Sixteen Saltines" music video—which is the second clip from his upcoming solo album Blunderbuss—is a delightfully aberrant experience along the lines of Napoleon Dynamite meshed with Gummo. 

Thanks to this clip, I learned how the next generation of youth is staving off boredom induced by growing up in dumpy neighborhoods.

This is what kids these days do to stay busy:

-Eat pieces of peanut butter-laden bread off the ceiling

-Huff sh*t out of gas masks

-Attempt suicide with plastic bags

-Spit blueberry milkshakes into each others' faces and then lick it off

-Dance while levitating like Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice

-Film caged dogs using VHS camcorders

-Burn cars containing pale-faced rockers from Detroit such as Jack White

What do you think of this Kidz Bop Gone Bad music video? Tell us below and we'll put the best comment on "Sixteen Saltines" on TV. Seriously. We have a music crawl on our cable channel now, and we'll run the best response to this video on it later today.