May 8, 2012


You Probably Didn't See Miley Cyrus' "LOL" Movie Last Weekend

JB Lacroix
JB Lacroix

Are you happy, people? You dug out your Iron Man T-shirt from the '80s and waited two hours in line just to snag a first-row seat to stare at Robert Downey Jr.'s or Scarlett Johansson's ass in tights and helped them destroy opening weekend records. They didn't need your money. You were just a blip in the Scrooge-McDuck-swimming pool-sized mountain of cash it pulled in. They probably didn't even say, "Thank you" as you walked out of the theater. 

Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus, part-time penis cake eater and full-time actress/singer, had the misfortune to release her latest film LOL on the same weekend and pulled in only $46,500, according to Movie City News. Just for reference, The Avengers made $46,100 per theater.

At an average of $7.89 per ticket (conducted by someone who has presumably never seen a film in New York), that means that only 5,703 of you in the entire country said, "Hey, I would like to pay money to see Miley Cyrus and mom Demi Moore navigate the turbulent high school years and speak in dated cyber-slang." Or as the trailer below astutely notes, LOL is "about breaking free and the time in all of our lives where we discover what we stand for."

Cyrus herself didn't seem too disappointed, tweeting Monday afternoon (May 7), "Thank u so much for everyone who went to see LOL. It is a film I loved making and I am proud of.... That's really all that matters to me." If that's all that matters, looks like everyone's happy. 

Miley Cyrus, LOL trailer