Snoop Dogg recently announced a major career change/midlife crisis: He "want[s] to bury Snoop Dogg and become Snoop Lion." In case you missed that news, Snoop Lion is Calvin Broadus' peace-minded reggae alter ego, which he now favors instead of his long-running gangsta rap alter ego.
Why stop being one of the world's most beloved rappers all of a sudden? "Rap is not a challenge to me. And no disrespect, and don't take it the wrong way, but they can't f**k with me in rap. I had enough of that. It's not appealing to me no more."
While we're more than a little interested to see what Snoop Lion and producer Diplo have cooking—the man who was arrested in 2006 for firearm possession is now advocating "No Guns Allowed" on his upcoming album—we've also come up with ten alternate career paths for Snoop in case his dub music doesn't stick as well as his dub sack.
Here's our list of the vocations—and accompanying new monikers—we respectfully submit to Snoop for consideration.
Snoop Pterodactyl, a paleontologist
Snoop Muskrat, a fur trapper
Snoop Mau5, who will complain about who is a real DJ and who isn't
Snoop Dog, a grammarian
Snoopopotamus, a competitive eater
Snoop Bear, a hairy m4m
Snoop Seal, if he wants to start romantically pursuing the newly-available Heidi Klum
Snoop Raven, who will write Gothic short stories and/or star in a Disney Channel sitcom
Snoop Marigold, owner of a hotel frequented by Judi Dench and Maggie Smith
Snoop Caterpillar, if he needs a name more appropriate to his musical transformation
Which one of these career paths would you like to see Calvin Broadus embark upon? Any other ideas? Let us know below!