FUSE TV - Accompany Your Porn Reading With Official "50 Shades of Grey" Soundtrack

Christian Grey gently, longingly, hungrily, unwrapped the plastic tightly clinging to the CD. It had been a long day of conference calls and meetings and the young businessman wanted nothing more than a snifter of brandy, Anastasia Steele's used garter belt and Fifty Shades of Grey - The Classical Album, the upcoming soundtrack of 15 classical songs popularized in the book of the same name.

The album wouldn't be out until August 21 (via EMI Classics, of course), but he had connections and got an early copy. There's nothing in this town that you can't get with sex or power, right? 

Anastasia came out of the bedroom, half-naked, smoking a cigarette, and still thinking of Grey's burning love-fire.

"Put it in, Christian. Put it in now."

He took the CD out of its case and inserted it into his $10,000 stereo. It went in smoothly. He placed his finger on the "Play" button and began to caress it.

"Stop teasing, Christian," said Anastasia, as a necktie purposefully dangled from her neck. "Play it!"

As classics by Bach, Debussy and Chopin—all tracks featured in the book—played in the background, Anastasia and Christian locked in dirty embrace, their eyes two pools of ravenous hunger.

"Remember when you boosted that one classical song to the top of the UK Classical Singles Chart?," asked Anastasia, barely containing her admiration for Grey's power.

"Do I ever, baby," said Grey, dabbing her sweat with $100 bills. "Wanna see me do it for a whole album?"

"Yes!," said Anastasia, her body pulsating under Christian's powerful, trance-like spell.

"But Christian, isn't EMI Classics known for arty, high-culture releases, not the soundtrack to smut novels?"

"Not anymore, kid. You're thinkin' too much and using big, 10-cent words. Now give me that tie."

"Avec plaisir, mon amour."

FIN