Rihanna's heavily hyped interview on Oprah's Next Chapter was exactly what the teaser clip promised—lots of Chris Brown gossip. Sure, the pop star also took Oprah on a tour of her former Barbados neighborhood and talked about being named the sexiest woman alive. But what everyone will be debating for days is her teary recollection of Brown and his 2009 assault against her.
In case you didn't happen to be watching the OWN network Sunday night, here are the interview's 10 biggest revelations.
1. Rihanna was worried about Chris Brown
after the R&B star assaulted her in early 2009.
“I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help,” she told Oprah, crying. “And who's going to help him? Nobody is going to say he needs help. Everybody is going to say he's a monster without looking at the source. I was more concerned about him.”
2. The assault left her angry and
betrayed, but also without her best friend.
“I was angry, hurt, betrayed,” she said. “I lost my best friend. Everything switched in a night, and I couldn't control that. It's not easy for me to understand or interpret, and its' not easy to interpret on camera. Not with the world watching."
3. All is forgiven now, though.
"I have forgiven him," she said. "It took me a long time. I was angry. This is not me. I was resentful. I held a grudge, I was angry. It was coming out in my music, in my clothes, in my attitude. I didn't like that. The feeling was heavy. It was heavy."
4. She now considers Brown one of her closest friends...
"We've been working on our friendship again, and now we're very, very close friends," she said. "We built up a trust again. We love each other and we probably always will. That's not something you can shut off if you've ever been in love."
5. ...and the "love of her life."
"I think that he's the love of my life," she said. "He was the first love. I see that he loves me the same way. We were very young, we were very spontaneous. We ran free, we ran wild. We were falling in love and going on a really rapid pace. We forgot about ourselves, we forgot about our personal discipline. We needed something to shut that off to show us what we were missing, what we were taking for granted. I truly love him. The main thing for me is that he's at peace. I'm not at peace if he's unhappy, or he's still lonely. I care. It actually matters that he finds that peace."
6. She had major issues with her father.
"I repaired my relationship with my dad," she said. "I was so angry. I was angry from a lot of things from my childhood. I couldn't separate him from a husband and from him as a father."
Oprah asked if her father was violent. "Yes, he was," Rihanna answered. "And my family broke up because of his addiction."
7. But they've rekindled their relationship, which helped her rebuild her friendship with Brown.
"I realized my father was one of the best fathers in the world," she said. "He taught me everything. As awful as he was to my mom, at times, it didn't compare to how great he was as a father. I was able to close that gap, and all kinds of emotions started happening after that. All kinds of things started making sense. A lot of....I thought I hated Chris, but I realized it was love that was tarnished and looked like hate. Because it was ugly, it was angry, it was inflamed, it was tainted. I realized that's what it was, and I had to forgive him. Because I cared about him still. The minute I let go of that I started living again."
8. In non-Chris Brown news, she thought it was "cute" that Esquire named her the sexiest woman alive in 2011.
"I don't even know what that means," she said of being named Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive. "I do not think of things like that. That's not my goal."
"It's flattering," she added. "Inaccurate but flattering."
9. She loves her fans, but is concerned about being seen as a role model.
"It's amazing how lonely you can feel, and like no one understands," she said. "The moment you reach out and put your guard down and you're vulnerable. Someone always reaches out, and you know you're not alone. I put a huge importance on my relationship with my fans.
"I want them to feel comfortable knowing that I have flaws. I want them to know these flaws because I'm scared of the pedestal. I want to be a peer to my fans. I don't ever want to be above them or think that I'm not one of them."
As for whether she considers herself a role model or not, she said: "No, no, no. Because of what society has made that title. It's become a title of perfection and that's something nobody can achieve."
10. And, since it's an Oprah interview, it wouldn't be complete without a feel-good surprise ending.
The interview ended with Rihanna giving her mom a five-bedroom mansion in Barbados. But not before making it clear the surprise wasn't something else: "I'm not pregnant, it's not that."