Jump to FM.tv

25 Days to the Holidays

19 Christmas Songs That Actually Don't Suck

Never listen to "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" again

1 / 19

James Brown, "Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto"

At Christmas, you make a lot of sacrifices. You're willing to put up with your drunk uncle, your Precious Moments-gifting aunt and your cousin who shows you BlackBerry photos of the same motorcycle year after year. What you refuse to put up with is all of those played-out Christmas songs. And we're 100 percent with you.

Here's our list of 19 Christmas songs that positively do not suck. A few of them are modern takes on old standards, while others, like James Brown's "Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto," shine a light on some of the lesser-celebrated aspects of the holiday season. Grab that egg nog and press play, and don't miss all the other holiday fun this year with Fuse's 25 Days to the Holidays.

2 / 19

Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings, "Ain't No Chimeys in the Projects"

Like James Brown, Sharon Jones uses the power of her Christmas song to remind us of the less fortunate. And while it might leave you feeling a little bummed out, at least "Ain't No Chimneys in the Projects" is really fun to sing along to.

3 / 19

Kelly Clarkson, "Underneath the Tree"

Kelly Clarkson's first Christmas album, 2013'd Wrapped in Red, was a smash success this holiday season—certified platinum in less than a month. The centerpiece is its lead single, "Underneath the Tree." The cheery, jazz-pop track (look out for the sax solo!) features lyrics like, "You're all that I need / Underneath the tree," making it an appropriate successor to Mariah Carey's now-classic-and-also-not-sucky "All I Want for Christmas Is You."

4 / 19

Sufjan Stevens, "Christmas Unicorn"

A 12-minute song about a magical/satirical "Christmas Unicorn"? This might be the most Sufjan Stevens-y Sufjan Stevens song ever.

5 / 19

LCD Soundsystem, "Oh You (Christmas Blues)"

So maybe LCD Soundsystem's James Murphy is a total Scrooge, but if that means sexy bummer Xmas tunes like this one, we'll let it slide. 

6 / 19

Fitz & The Tantrums, "Santa Stole My Lady"

Finally! Someone's telling the truth about what a sleazeball Santa is. First he's creeping around your house at night, then he's kissing your mom under the mistletoe. Now he's stealing your lady, Fitz & The Tantrums. We've got you covered. (See next slide.)

7 / 19

Gruff Rhys, "Slashed Wrists This Christmas"

DO NOT go caroling at Super Furry Animals' Gruff Rhys' house. He's... busy. 

8 / 19

Mayer Hawthorne, "Christmas Time Is Here"

While the Charlie Brown version of "Christmas Time Is Here" (as performed by the Vince Guaraldi Trio) is an untouchable classic, soul singer-songwriter Mayer Hawthorne spices it up a bit. And it's still PG enough for kids.

9 / 19

Mariah Carey, "All I Want For Christmas Is You"

Though originally recorded and released in 1994, this Mariah Carey Christmas hit is such a classic that many people think it's much older than that. If "All I Want For Christmas Is You" doesn't put at least a tiny smile on your face, maybe you need to lighten up, Grinch.

10 / 19

Bruce Springsteen & The E-Street Band, "Merry Christmas Baby"

Leave it to The Boss to turn a Christmas standard into a makeout song. 

11 / 19

Leona Lewis, "One More Sleep"

The "Bleeding Love" singer will zoom back onto your playlists with this throwback-inspired holiday single. Lewis sings about the anticipation of waiting "one more sleep" to reunite with her love on Christmas Day.

12 / 19

John Lennon & Yoko Ono, "Happy Xmas"

Recorded with the Harlem Community Choir, this Vietnam protest song had become a classic just years after its 1971 release. Maybe the "Happy Xmas" video's a little heavy, but thus is John and Yoko.

13 / 19

The Waitresses, "Christmas Wrapping"

Fun fact: The Spice Girls released a cover of the Ohio new wave group's Xmas tune "Christmas Wrapping" as the B-side for their 1998 single, "Goodbye." More street cred than you thought, huh?

14 / 19

Run-DMC, "Christmas in Hollis"

"It's Christmas time in Hollis, Queens / Mom's cookin' chicken and collard greens." Run-DMC: Doing everything cooler than everyone since 1981.

15 / 19

Julian Casablancas, "I Wish It Was Christmas Today"

What was originally a spoof Christmas song performed on Saturday Night Live became a real, full-blown song thanks to Julian Casablancas' experimental solo phase. And, obviously, it's awesome. 

16 / 19

The Ramones, "Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)"

The Ramones have truly captured the spirit of the holidays in this 1989 Christmas track: the endless joy of fighting with your loved ones.

17 / 19

The Flaming Lips, "Christmas At The Zoo"

Ah, yes—The Flaming Lips' beautiful yuletide tale of the lonely guy on Christmas Eve who wants to free all the animals at the zoo... but then the animals tell him they're all good and they'd rather stay caged.

18 / 19

Ariana Grande, "Santa Tell Me"

A playful, catchy ode to St. Nick accompanied by an adorable music video. What's not to like?

19 / 19

Kurtis Blow, "Christmas Rappin'"

Kurtis Blow's "Christmas Rappin'" was the first rap song to be released on a major label in 1979. Since then, about 100 million other rappers have sampled the song, so in a way, Christmas is always with us!

User Comments

Advertisement

Photo of the day

Dec. 11: Gaga’s Holiday Party

The holiday’s are here which means it’s holiday party time, and Lady Gaga is celebrating it in the best way possible — with friends and costumes. Dressed up as Mistress Claus, Gaga hosted a holiday soirée with her sister and the rest of Haus of Gaga who also dressed up in a mix of adorable ensembles.

Advertisement