December 21, 2012


Swedish Headbanger Awarded Welfare for His Metal Addiction

Kevin Winter
Kevin Winter

Anyone who thought Sweden's universal health care system just wasn’t liberal enough can now breathe a sigh of relief—the Swedish government is paying a 42-year-old dishwasher disability benefits to support his heavy metal addiction.

The ailing metal addict—Roger Tullgren—is compelled by his Satanic musical obsession to attend 300 metal shows a year. That grueling schedule prevents Tullgren from holding down a steady dishwashing gig, his chosen profession.

“I have been trying for 10 years to get this classified as a handicap,” Tullgren told the Swedish website the Local, presumably while biting a dove's head off and letting its warm blood run down his chin. "I spoke to three psychologists and they finally agreed that I needed this to avoid being discriminated against."

So from now on, this headbanger's part-time dishwashing job will be supplemented by federal disability benefits that will help support his metal health.

Finally, the Swedish health care system is truly providing Justice For All.