December 21, 2012

Article

Swedish Headbanger Awarded Welfare for His Metal Addiction

Kevin Winter
Kevin Winter

Anyone who thought Sweden's universal health care system just wasn’t liberal enough can now breathe a sigh of relief—the Swedish government is paying a 42-year-old dishwasher disability benefits to support his heavy metal addiction.

The ailing metal addict—Roger Tullgren—is compelled by his Satanic musical obsession to attend 300 metal shows a year. That grueling schedule prevents Tullgren from holding down a steady dishwashing gig, his chosen profession.

“I have been trying for 10 years to get this classified as a handicap,” Tullgren told the Swedish website the Local, presumably while biting a dove's head off and letting its warm blood run down his chin. "I spoke to three psychologists and they finally agreed that I needed this to avoid being discriminated against."

So from now on, this headbanger's part-time dishwashing job will be supplemented by federal disability benefits that will help support his metal health.

Finally, the Swedish health care system is truly providing Justice For All.

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