February 19, 2013


Here's a Smiths-Inspired Vegetarian Menu for Morrissey's L.A. Show

Mike Pont
Mike Pont

UPDATE: Staples Center denied it is going 100% veg despite Morrissey's press release. So it appears "Veal Around the Fountain" will be on the menu after all.

UPDATE #2: Now Moz is insisting the Staples Center actually WILL be "100% vegetarian" despite what the Staples Center said. So...who knows. Well, probably the venue itself. Which means it won't be.

On March 1, the Staples Center is going all-vegetarian for the first time to appease "Meat Is Murder" singer Morrissey. The former Smiths frontman—who is currently resting up due to a bleeding ulcer—demanded a meat ban at the Los Angeles venue while he plays there, meaning the McDonald's will close outright and the other vendors will give animal flesh a rest that day.

While many of the Staples Center vendors will surely see this as a burden given their pre-established menus, we'd like to suggest some creative cuisine options opened up by an all-veg venue. Below are 12 delicious vegetarian menu options inspired by the Morrissey/Smiths catalog. 

This Charming Yam

The Lettuce Head Master Ritual 

The Boy with the Corn as His Side

Panic in the Leafs of London

Figmouth Strikes Again

Vicar in a Tofu

The Queen is Fed 

Pretty Girls Make Grains

Louder Than Soybombs

Sheila Save a Cow

The First of the Greens to Fry 

Please, Please, Please Let Me Eat What I Want: Gourd Knows It Would Be the First Time