April 1, 2013


Confused Morrissey Protests Meat Loaf Concert

A disheveled and dissolute Morrissey, still despondent over the sale of meat at his recent Staples Center show, announced that he will be protesting theatrical rock singer Meat Loaf's upcoming Last at Bat European tour.

The former Smiths singer held a press conference over the weekend to divulge his plans, which include the passing out of "Meat (Loaf) Is Murder" signs and distribution of recipes for Roasted Pepper and Spinach Vegetable Loaf.

"Any show where meatloaf, aka cadaver loaf, is consumed should be stopped immediately and each ticket buyer arrested on-site for murder," said the outspoken singer.

When asked about the protest, Meat Loaf replied, "Huh?" before sliding across his dressing room in a white unitard yelling, "Let me sleep on it!"

Morrissey was last seen flashing a smug grin and buying tickets to Carrot Top's show at Las Vegas' Luxor.

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