April 23, 2013


Read the Michael Jackson Jury Questionnaire

Kevin Mazur
Kevin Mazur

Today, a jury was chosen in the $40 billion lawsuit involving the death of Michael Jackson. The search has taken weeks to find 12 men and women objective enough to serve on the jury. We haven't seen the official juror questionnaire, but if we had to guess, we think it'd look something like this:

                                                Juror Questionnaire


Please complete the following questionnaire to assist the Court and counsel in selecting a jury to serve in the case of Jackson v. AEG Live. The purpose of these questions is not to ask unnecessarily about personal matters. It is simply to determine whether a perspective juror can decide the case fairly and impartially. Remember that there are no "right" or "wrong" answers; only truthful answers.


1. Do you believe Billie Jean was Jackson’s lover or just a girl that claimed he was the one?

2. A man breaks into a woman’s apartment, following her underneath a table and into the bedroom and subsequently striking her down. Knowing he left bloodstains all over the carpet, how smooth do you consider him to be?

3. Who’s bad?

4. Which of these are considered contempt of court?

- Talkin’
- Squealin’
- Lyin’

5. Can burning a disco out be considered a justifiable form of arson?

6. The girl is:

- Mine
- No, Mine

Pick one.

7. How many times have you fallen attempting the “Smooth Criminal” lean dance?

8. Can committing a crime while living life “Off the wall” be used in a temporary insanity defense?

9. Describe your worst leg injury while unsuccessfully attempting to Moonwalk?

10. Who were you more surprised to see in “Black or White”: The drunk from ‘Cheers’ or the kid from ‘Home Alone’?