June 17, 2013


The Weirdest, Funniest, Most Ridiculous Quotes Overheard at Bonnaroo 2013

Ariel LeBeau for Fuse
Ariel LeBeau for Fuse

When you bring together 80,000 open-minded, uninhibited people whose livers are potentially the hardest-working organ at the festival, it's inevitable that Bonnaroo 2013 would contain its share of quotables. We rounded up the best lines from fans and artists during the four-day fest, said off-the-cuff but now preserved in the public record forever. 

"Are you ready to be asked how you're doing every hour for the next five days?" - Father John Misty opening his Thursday night set

"I bet he says that to everyone." - Teenage girl after Kendrick Lamar said, "I've been on tour looking for the livest crowd and I think this is the best one."

"I hate Beethoven. His music is too simple." - A person who doesn't understand the significance of Beethoven

"All my girls with t-ttiies, crowd surf to the stage." - A$AP Rocky, before enlisting 30 girls to dance onstage

What the f-ck was that?" - A fan following R. Kelly's set

"Sorry to bother you, but my friend is a huge fan. Could you call her and say hello?" - A confused teenage girl approaching a random 50-year-old man in a Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt

"Oh man, Bjork is Bjork-ing it!"

"They had all the drugs in the car with those pretty white girls following them."

"You takin' pictures of naked women?" - Guy to friend shooting Jim James' Friday afternoon set

"I've been drinking all day and I found something that made me feel more happy. No, it's not Molly. It's Paulie!" - The greatest Paul McCartney fan in the history of music during the former Beatle's Friday night set

"Who wants glow sticks?" - A confused fan at Paul McCartney

"I was lucky enough to know Jimi Hendrix and…. yeah. How cool is that?" - Paul McCartney

"I didn't know if it was cocaine or baby powder until he put it up his nose."

"Oh my god are you naked? Are you naked?! This next song's for you. That's what a music festival's all about." - Los Angeles garage rock duo Deap Vally after spotting a nude male fan in the first row

"Hands off til the band's off." - Some guy coining a cryptic phrase

Hippie 1: I wish I could just live at Bonnaroo.
Hippie 2: In a way, you can, man. You just carry the vibe with you all year round.

"This week, class, we learned the government is listening to us all. You and the homeboys aren't the only ones watching porn of you and your girlfriend." - Killer Mike

"I'm like bacteria. You can put me anywhere and I'll make it."

"Every time we've been here it's been ass hot. We're going to play this song to bum everyone out." - Jeff Tweedy before Wilco played the melancholic "Via Chicago" 

"This is so nice with the temperature and the sky and the everything." - A stoned woman, probably

Man 1: This was good, but Bonnaroo 2006 was the best.
Man 2: Who played that year?
Man 1: I don't remember.