June 25, 2013


Chris Brown Tweets Defense Against TMZ Hit-and-Run Allegation

Paul A. Hebert/Getty Images
Paul A. Hebert/Getty Images

America's Sweetheart Chris Brown is quickly losing all that goodwill he's built up by not doing anything obnoxious in the past, say, week or so.

After TMZ reported earlier today that the L.A. City Attorney filed two criminal charges against the singer over a minor car accident last month, Brown took to his twitter page to refute the charges.

TMZ claimed that Brown "rear-ended a Mercedes and allegedly refused to fork over his driver's license number and gave bogus insurance info and then left the scene."

Brown, upset at seeing his good name dragged through the mud, claimed that there was no damage to either car and he did, in fact, exchange information with the other driver, which probably went something like:

"Can I have your name please, sir?"

"You know who I am!"

"I don't. Do you have a license?"

"Yeah. A license to do what I want."


(Annnnnd scene.)

After referring to himself in the third person, which never makes you sound weird or obnoxious, Brown took on the Website of Record's "yellow journalism," noting that he WILL. NOT. STAND. for bullying (of any non-females) and that lawyers will be involved.

Side note: Imagine a conversation between a lawyer for Chris Brown and a lawyer for TMZ.

Our perpetual victim/pop superstar did the only sensible thing he could: change his profile picture to the other person's car and include her license plate number, which will surely go unnoticed by Brown's rabid fanbase. 

Brown, who noted in the tweet below that he is somewhere between 19 and 24 years old (you're 24), tweeted that he is "work[ing] hard to be a better person." Somewhere, a 19-24-year-old is learning some serious life lessons.

Brown eventually turned to Scripture, quoting 2 Corinthians 12:10, "That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

May I also recommend Psalm 11:5.