June 6, 2013


Diddy Creates Dance That You're Too Poor to Do

Because stepping on endangered species' necks while wearing Hope diamond necklaces and burning original Declaration of Independences is too ostentatious, Diddy has invented a new dance that anyone with an iPod, dancing ability and their own private jet can do.

#diddyjetdance—because every goddam thing anyone creates now needs a #hashtag #in #front #of #it—is a new viral craze (read: promotional stunt) by the mogul that, like the hashtag suggests, involves dancing near and on your private jet. Or, if you're too poor, your friend's private jet.

"When you’re living THIS high, you can’t be afraid of heights!! Learn how to FLY with me!!," tweeted Diddy, to which hundreds of thousands of fans barely making ends meet in a increasingly crumbling economy were all, "LOL! Awesome! Man, being rich must be fun!"

The video ends with nearly a minute of silence, presumably so you can reflect on Diddy's satirical gem on America's obsession with conspiculous consumption and the country's growing income inequality. This is satire, right?