"Honey, will you pick up the new Daft Punk on vinyl while you're out grabbing the quinoa for dinner?"
Yep, it's true. Your weird dream where one second you are fighting angry crowds for the choicest leaves of chard and then, suddenly—poof!—you are browsing records is now a reality.
The good people at Whole Foods seemingly picked up on the furrowed brows of the audiophiles in their mix and decided to throw them a bone: there are now record stores in certain locations.
According to Time, five branches of the upscale grocery store chain in southern California are now offering vinyl records that seem likely to appeal to the stereotypical Whole Foods shopper.
What exactly appeals to the typical Whole Foods shopper, you ask?
Well, Frank Sinatra, Daft Punk, Rolling Stones, Paramore, Bob Marley and Tegan and Sara are just a few of acts the chain is betting on.
Apparently selling vinyl records is part of a branding shift for the company. While selling vinyl is unlikely to cause a monumental uptick in overall sales (they raked in $11.7 billion last year), it may help them on their quest to move from just a grocery store to a lifestyle brand.
Or, as Whole Foods Market executive coordinator, Mike Bowen, explained:
“This launch isn’t just about stocking our shelves with something new and different—it’s about listening to our shoppers and giving them access to the things they want—whether it’s their favorite cheese or their favorite way to enjoy music.”
While this move is basically the equivalent of your mom sporting Elvis Costello window-glasses and sending you Snapchats of the family cat in order to convince you of her innate hipness, we won't complain too much.
The grocery store is basically a hellmouth, and we'll be damned if some Tegan and Sara or a little 'Ol Blue Eyes won't help soften the experience.