Here's a scoop so earth-shattering only Perez Hilton could have broken the news: The Teen Choice Awards are not actually chosen by teens.
Although online voting determines four finalists for each of the 88 categories, the actual winner is chosen from that Top 4 by the producers, according to the fine print on the website. To be exact, the final winner is decided by a mysterious entity known as "Teenasaurus Rox." This is pure speculation, but Teenasaurus Rox is presumably a middle-aged white man with perpetual Doritos residue on his fingers and an ever-increasing beer belly.
So how do the producers decide which one of the Top 4 finalists in each category deserves the prestigious Teen Choice Surfboard? Well, Perez Hilton speculates that the winner is chosen based on which stars decide to grace the awards show with their presence. Because the more A-listers in the audience and onstage, the more eyeballs the show gets. And the more viewers tune in, the more money producers can charge for advertising slots. And if the show makes enough scratch, then Mr. Teenasaurus Rox can finally take that Caribbean vacation he so richly deserves.
Regardless of how the winners are chosen, this year's Teen Choice Awards featured a plethora of adorable moments and a legitimately touching tribute to the late Cory Monteith by his co-star/girlfriend Lea Michele.
Check out all the best behind-the-scenes photos from this year's Teen Choice Awards: