April 1, 2015

Listicle

Weekly Prescription: Your Musical Dosage for April 1

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Music is a source of comfort and catharsis for most people, so we decided to stock up our musical pharmacy with some tunes to cure your ailments. From gray hair to heartache to the first of the month, check with us weekly for new musical prescriptions.

Ailment: Foolish Heart

While your friends, contemporaries at work, and even the media is playing practical jokes on each other today, for you, April Fool's Day is reserved for a realization of the heart. The realization that you are indeed a fool. A fool who wants to be in love rather than play pranks. Though some wisemen warn against rushing, you are ready to play the fool. You are ready to take that leap into the unknown, because what's waiting for you could be quite wonderful.

Drug name: Acetylvis Preslicin

Active ingredients: Gentle surf guitar, reassuring lyrics and a break from the foolishness of April 1 festivities.

Uses: Strengthens the heart against foolishness while softening the mind to possibility. 

Stop use if: You get the urge to actually bum-rush your crush.

Directions: Play as needed to delight your mind and relieve your hesitation to be a fool. Play until hesitation subsides completely.

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