I'm no Mac Daddy like Leon Phelps, nor am I love psychologist like Dr. Phil. But between my on-and-off relationships & encounters with women of all types, I've learned a thing or two about love and the female psyche.
As you heard in "My Girl," I've had to learn how to cope with long-distance separation while battling temptation on the road. In Mayo Love Clinic: Prescribing Advice for an Amorous Summer of Love, I'll be dishing out tips on topics relevant to love, especially within a long-distance relationship. Seeing as how I’m involved in one myself, I’m currently dealing with the ups and downs firsthand. Anyone who’s been in a long-distance relationship knows that it takes work, and I hope the advice I offer here can shed some light on how to manage the hardships.
Most importantly, the advice I'll be giving out will be based on questions from readers like you. My fans, Fuse readers, HypeMachine fiends, and Soundcloud junkies will be able to ask me questions on how I've dealt with the problems facing people who're in long-distance relationships.
Let's get it on.
Living in New York has made it hard to communicate with my boyfriend in San Fran. With the time difference, we’re thinking that we should start scheduling our days around the times we catch up over Skype. Is this a good or bad thing? –Madeline, Bushwick, Brooklyn
Good to an extent, but you gotta also keep in mind that planning for Skypes and phone calls makes the interaction seem insincere and tedious.
From my personal experience, I try to keep all my Skype calls or FaceTimes spontaneous, keeping an element of surprise and excitement to our communication. Of course I have a general understanding of when she’s available, so I try to make my “surprise” within her availability time frames.
All in all, you should never to get to the point where FaceTiming with him seems more like a chore than a desire. Keeping communication spontaneous yet consistent—within the boundaries of his availability—keeps the conversation special and unanticipated.
It’s hard giving my girlfriend any satisfaction while she’s studying abroad in Greece. What am I to do? –Dominic, Wicker Park, Chicago
Send her selfies and pics of yourself after showering. She should be able to take care of the rest! This approach has always worked like a charm for me and my girl.
Staying faithful to my longtime girlfriend is hard. We’ve been together for three years. What’s the best way to resist temptation? –Gillian of Echo Park, Los Angeles
Faithfulness is no walk in the park, but the easiest way to resist temptation is through reminiscing. The simple habit of reminiscing on the good times should remind you that you and your girl have a history to preserve. Reminiscing should also remind you of how wasteful it’d be to throw away all those memories by cheating. Ultimately, reminiscing should reinforce that short-term pleasures hold little value in comparison to the collection of memories you and your girlfriend have cached.
What are some things I can do to help preserve my relationship, despite the long-distance separation? –Avery of Shoreditch, London
My girl has showed me several ways to preserve our relationship while keeping it fresh and playful.
When she’s in the car, that’s usually when she sends me videos of her singing along to Sam Smith, Big Sean or Tori Kelly. I call these videos “Mini-Concerts.” These “Mini-Concerts”— filmed from her phone while driving; I pray to God she has both hands on the wheel— always bring back the memories of us jamming out in her car last summer. Not gonna lie, she’s got one hell of a voice.
Bottom line: you can always maintain your relationship by recreating the experiences that you used to share in-person.
Nick Jonas says it’s OK to be jealous. Is this always true? –Crowley of Bishop Arts District, Dallas
At the root of jealousy is worrying, and worrying doesn’t do anything but hurt the relationship. At the end of the day, be confident in yourself and your partner.