Music is a source of comfort and catharsis for most people, so we stocked our musical pharmacy with some tunes to cure your ailments. From appendicitis to a broken heart, check with us weekly for new musical prescriptions.
Ailment: Busted Heart-Condom
You are casually texting with the girl you've been seeing for the last few months and laughing out loud at work (shame on you), wishing you were holding her hand instead of your (cold by now) cup of coffee. You realize that you miss her, but it's only been a day since you saw her. Shit. It's over, man. You tried to keep things casual and you're definitely not ready for a relationship. You even threw on the heart-condom, thinking you could keep yourself from acquiring that "love bug" while hanging with this chick. But repeated visits and one too many hours of pillow talk has ripped right through that rubber and left you raw.
Drug Name: Famvink
Active Ingredients: The smoky, scotch-laced vocals of Fin "Fink" Greenall, comforting guitar inflections, and the laid back ambient accents that build into an electronic...ahem, climax.
Uses: To produce a relaxing and positive effect while reminding you that it's okay to fall and feel with your whole heart. Just because your heart isn't protected doesn't mean you'll experience negative consequences.
Warning: Unlike most condoms, heart-rubbers are optional. Make sure to use appropriate protection when necessary.
Directions: Play once before outings and once while with your girl...and just fall.
Do you have an ailment you need a cure for? Write us at firstname.lastname@example.org with your sickness, story and handle so we can respond with a musical fix.