June 12, 2015


33 Brilliant Alanis Morissette Lyrics From 'Jagged Little Pill'

Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images
Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

Alanis Morissette parachuted into the Most Lyrical Artists of All Time canon the second the first copy of Jagged Little Pill hit a record store shelf. The Canadian chanteuse was already a fully formed poet by her third, breakout LP—an earnest, sardonic, lost, frustrated and determined woman who had turned 21 just days before.

It's hard to believe we learned the 13 songs on Jagged Little Pill the same summer we were falling in love with Clueless, but it's simple to understand how much of a punch these 33 lines still pack today. Alanis Morissette's perfect album keeps making us grin in admiration, scratch our heads in contemplation, cringe in sympathy, and laugh like loons.

1. From "Right Through You"
You took me for a joke
You took me for a child
You took a long hard look at my ass
And then played golf for a while
Your shake is like a fish
You pat me on the head
You took me out to wine, dine, 69 me
But didn't hear a damn word I said

2. From "Ironic"
An old man turned 98
He won the lottery
And died the next day

3. From "Perfect"
I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him, compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem, why are you crying?

4. From "You Oughta Know"
Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?

5. From "You Learn"
I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room

Maverick Records
Maverick Records

6. From "All I Really Want"
Why are you so petrified of silence?
Here, can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines,
Or when you think you're gonna die?
Or did you long for the next distraction?

7. From "Hand in My Pocket"
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

8. From "Mary Jane"

I hear you're counting sheep again, Mary Jane
What's the point of trying to dream anymore?
I hear you're losing weight again, Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for?

9. From "Not the Doctor"
I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine

10. From "You Oughta Know"
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently?
And would she have your baby?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

11. From "Ironic"
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

12. From "All I Really Want"
And all I need now is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer

13. From "Perfect"
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect

14. From "Ironic"
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought,
"Well isn't this nice..." 

15. From "Not the Doctor"
I don't want to be the sweeper
Of the eggshells that you walk upon
And I don't want to be your other half
I believe that one and one make two

Kevin Mazur/WireImage
Kevin Mazur/WireImage

16. From "All I Really Want"
I'm frustrated by your apathy

17. From "Hand in My Pocket"
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

18. From "Right Through You"
Now that I'm Miss Thing
Now that I'm a zillionaire
You scan the credits for your name
And wonder why it's not there

19. From "Head Over Feet"
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

20. From "Wake Up"
You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much
And you sit...and you wait...to receive
There's an obvious attraction 
To the path of least resistance in your life
There's an obvious aversion
No amount of my insistence
Could make you try tonight

21. From "You Oughta Know"
'Cause the love that you gave, that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away

22. From "All I Really Want"
Every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it

23. From "Hand in My Pocket"
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

24. From "Not the Doctor"
I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't want to be your babysitter
You're a very big boy now
I don't want to be your mother
I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

25. From "Perfect"
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect

26. From "Wake Up"
You like snow but only if it's warm
You like rain but only if it's dry

Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images
Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images

27. From "All I Really Want"
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred

28. From "Forgiven"
We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something So we did

29. From "Your House"
I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
I went down to the den
I found your CDs
And I played your Joni

30. From "Head Over Feet"
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational

31. From "Right Through You"
Wait a minute, man
You mispronounced my name

32. From "All I Really Want"
Do I stress you out?
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say howww-owww-ow ap

33. From "Ironic"
And isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?

Next, watch Alanis join husband Souleye in his intense "Snow Angel" video: