Lost Angeles: Combining Dating and Social Media Is Hard
I thought it would take a lot longer before I’d have to bring it up, but I suppose putting your life on the chopping block and then expecting not to bleed is a ridiculous notion.
Let’s talk about accountability. It’s been proven a number of times and when I worked for Intervention, we banked on it: People act differently when they know someone is going to find out about it. Humans stay sober when they realize that thousands of people watched them give up drinking; people are nicer if they think the camera is pointed at them.
We rethink our decisions when we ponder the fact that more people are going to consider our actions rather than just one. How many seconds do you spend perfecting that selfie—or just flicking through filters—before you deem it worthy of the public eye? Then, how many seconds do you take to consider the repercussions of your actions on one person’s life when no one is there to look at it? Before a heavy confrontation. Before a split second comment. Before the domino effect of someone else’s feelings takes flight.
I knew that publishing my feelings in this column would possibly affect the people I was writing about, but I didn’t realize how much that mirrored the magnitude of social media exposure we have on a daily basis.
I put my love life on display through writing, but most of us post pics with our loves or lovers and expect a bubble of safety or a promise of security. Well, I hate to tell you this, but it’s not there. What social media does provide is an opportunity for jealousy, flirting and mind games. I suppose if your relationship is airtight, then there's no problem there, but my therapist says many of her clients with relationship problems have stemmed from social media misunderstandings or disagreements.
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