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The 2015 MTV Video Music Awards are announcing their nominees on Tuesday morning, but they've already got one celebrity locked in: Miley Cyrus, the woman who lit the world and the blogospherical realm on fire with her twerky performance in 2013.
According to Miley, via that superhero-ballerina tweet above, the VMAs wouldn't let her perform (did they see those Backyard Sessions??) so she's hosting instead. There's some universe where that adds up.
But of course Miley's going to end up performing. This is that narrative kicking off. End of the show, after Ed Sheeran and Drake and Taylor Swift and Sam Smith have won all the VMAs, Miley is totally doing a gigantic debut of some new song (the awesome "Nightmare"?), minus any twerking except maybe a quick little wink to the old performance.
It might not unfold exactly like that, but c'mon, it's going to unfold exactly like that.