Let's be honest and defuse this whole thing at the top before journeying back into the weekend's greatest drama: Whatever just happened between Jack White and the Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney in New York City—the result of at least two hot years of feuding—has been resolved:
Before these truce tweets hit, the word was this, in Carney tweets that have since been deleted:
"I've never met jack white. Until last night. He came to a bar in Nyc I go to a lot with a few friends and tried to fight me. I don't fight and don't get fighting but he was mad!!! He is why I play music. The bully assholes who made me feel like nothing. Music was a private non competitive thing. Not sure what he's unhappy with cuz I just liked Zeppelin a lot and wanted to play guitar. Cut my pinky off and ended up being a drummer. Not the best drummer but a passionate one. But any way jack white. A 40 year old bully tried to fight the 35 year old nerd. It might get loud but it might also get really really sad and pathetic. Jack white is basically billy corgan's dumb ass zero t-shirt in human form."
Both fellows made statements to Vulture. Carney's included the words "macho bullshit" and "I got into music because of people like [Jack White.]" White's was more direct:
"Nobody tried to fight you, Patrick. Nobody touched you or ‘bullied’ you. You were asked a question you couldn’t answer so you walked away. So quit whining to the Internet and speak face to face like a human being. End of story."
Two years ago, Jack White was busted for getting angry about his kids going to the same school as Black Keys "asshole" Dan Auerbach. In 2014, he issued an "apology and explanation." Every time this thing seems to be over, it starts back up again. Stay tuned for the next round.