Shia LaBeouf's hip-hop origin story is that he did some shirtless, intriguing bars that he actually stole.
Today he kinda completely mercilessly buried that incident by going on Sway in the Morning to run the 5 Fingers of Death freestyle. Over what Sway calls "five beats designed to trip you up or make you a star," Shia "Jewish Pac to this music with a twist of Whitman" LaB jumps in at the 1:40 mark, starts out okay, then lifts the fuck off. Bars:
Talk shit, I'll pop up, I'm poppin E's
Poppin', G, Poppa C, I'll get you high as poppy seeds, copy me?
You ain't Heather Knox–in' me, roger me?
Check me, check me, evidently
Kid is transcending
We're not gonna sit here and tell you it's the best rap of all time, but we're never gonna sit here and tell you this 30-year-old former child actor didn't just surprise the shit out of us all over again.
And Sway, too:
"This is what the show is about. There's no divisiveness in this show. There's no discrimination in this show. ... No. 1 MC in Hollywood, I said it! ... He's out-rapping full-time rappers. Shia, they scared to come up. They might be actors posin' as rappers. You a rapper posin' as an actor!"