December 9, 2016


'War for the Planet of the Apes' Trailer: Bye Humans, Love Caesar

Is it decorous to be this excited for a threequel in the second round of a franchise reboot? Let me direct you to my ape overlord, Caesar, who will terrify any such question out of you.

On July 14, 2017, five years after Rise of the Planet of the Apes hit the reset button, humanity's finally gonna get it. "And if we lose, it will be...a planet of apes," says Woody Harrelson, who's not just a big bald bad guy, but one who razors his shaving-creamed head mid–rally speech. (Wonderful how we instantly know the humans are the bad guys now. Very on-brand with mankind's 2016/'17 season.)

In returning director Matt Reeves' new saga, Caesar and his cheerless band of wronged kin are a lock for victory, having slayed in 2014's Dawn of the Planet of the Apes when they were just figuring out their new skills. Now they look like they've been riding horses and spraying AK's for decades.

BTW, original Planet-heads: Yes, that opener does wanna get the beach in your head again. The beach, the Charlton Heston 1968 "YOU MANIACS!! YOU BLEW IT UP!! AH, DAMN YOU!!!" beach. Heh...