December 14, 2012


Twerking Gone Wrong

Off Beat host, Mike E. Winfield, gives you his weekly video dissection.

This is very unfortunate.

She got hurt doing the twerk. How is she gonna explain this when she returns to work at her Fortune 500 law firm? She landed right on her twerk bone, and it appeared incredibly painful.

It's actually somewhat attractive. It's like an amateur stripper -- she hasn't completely mastered her craft, which makes it uniquely authentic. When your strut drastically changes, you normally have to share the story. People want to know. That's where this up-and-coming twerk superstar's creativity is going to flourish. She'll probably say she fell off her motorcycle that she rides only during the week because she twerks on the weekends, or she fell off the monkey bars playing with the kids at the local daycare where she volunteers.

But people will probably assume that this provocative young woman -- dressed in open-toe boots and stretch pants that look like fungus attacked them -- hurt herself while twerking in some low budget night club that throws twerking contests with the grand prize 'to be determined.' Look at the guy who appears to fall out on the floor laughing at the twerk gone wrong -- if you look closely, he's really sniffing the floor.

Hopefully, she has taught all the twerkers to never show their faces on camera for obvious reasons:

"That look like Shareeka!"

"How can you tell, you can't see her face?"

"That's her. I was with her when she bought them ugly a$$ pants!"

I wonder what the doctor said when she asked to go out on disability.

"Excuse me? Tweeking? There is not a box for that."

"No, twerking, Doc. Check for that. There has to be a box for that."

Did Mike E. nail it? What's your take on twerking? Hit us up in the comments.