August 1, 2013


Justin Bieber's Penis Is Having a Very Busy Month

Three weeks after video surfaced of Justin Bieber pissing into a mop bucket, the singer's crotch has once again been forced to endure the debilitating public scrutiny caused by its human overlord.

During Bieber's Tuesday night concert at New Jersey's Prudential Center—a concert, it should be noted, in which Bieber's penis was minding its own business and resting while its master performed—the singer gently chastised the crowd for throwing things on stage.

After a fan ignored Bieber's request and threw a smartphone on stage—because why would you need that?—Bieber, Lothario that he is, proceeded to put the phone down his pants before tossing it to another fan (Operation Crotchphone starts at 1:10 above) . So now somewhere out there is a fan's phone covered with the sweaty crotchjuice of their idol. The phone is not on eBay. Yet.