King producer Mike WiLL Made-It (Miley's "We Can't Stop," Kanye's "Mercy," Rihanna's "Pour It Up") has a mixtape, Ransom, that's been burning hot since December. It's got the type of all-star lineup the board-smith always pulls together: Big Sean, 2 Chainz, Future, Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, Kendrick Lamar. One of the standout cuts, "Choppin' Blades," features Riff Raff and Slim Jxmmi, a.k.a. half of Rae Sremmurd. The music video's here, and it's more than too good to be true.
Ordinarily Riff-Raff is a terrifying, baffling human. But today he wins the internet. The Houston-born man born as Horst Christian Simco plays Sharky McStevenson, a confident car dealer with Barbie-pink hair extensions. He apparently improvises an intro about the importance of high-stakes car-slangin': "It's not easy, and I'll ya what, it's not cheesy. And everybody likes me." Watch out for the Waka Flocka Flame cameo. (Er, sorry, the "ten-time Soul Train winner Big Trap Dawg" cameo.)
The "Choppin' Blades" video jumps to the top floor—literally—as soon as Riff's intro ends and he starts rapping on the roof with one of those flappy, furry winter hats you ordinarily see on dudes like Bon Iver and your dad. (And don't think for a second that this silly small-town scenario elides the usual cash/money/babes formula. We truly can have it all.)
Aside from the hat and the hair and everything else, the best part is Riff Raff saying "got more gold than Rumpelstilts." Also, trivia: the title "Choppin' Blades" is an homage to a 2001 UGK track of the same name produced by Pimp C and N.O. Joe. And that track's beat is a light rework of E-40's 1994 jam "Captain Save a Ho." So here you go.