In the midst of his still unresolved "the Staples Center is/isn't going 100% meat-free" debacle, Morrissey canceled his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live because certain meat-lovin' Kimmel guests offended his vegetarian sensibilities. The Smiths singer objected to the cast of Duck Dynasty—a reality TV family who make duck-hunting products and have beards that put My Morning Jacket to shame—appearing on the same episode as him.
"I can't take the risk of being on a show alongside people who, in effect, amount to animal serial killers," Morrissey explained, which you should imagine him singing in a lovely falsetto for full effect. For a vegetarian, Morrissey sure does have a lot of beef in his life.
Now, Kimmel and the Duck Dynasty clan are firing back at that darn animal lover with a sketch about Carrot Call, a product "for the vegan in your life" that "mimics the call of the wild carrot." It's pretty funny and you can watch it above, though we should point out that the "Meat is Murder" singer isn't a vegan. He actually loves seeing chickens crammed into small spaces and forced to lay eggs beyond their natural physical capacity. He's funny like that.